I have a few jokes about unemployed people. But it doesn’t matter none of them work.

Being struck by lightning is a shocking experience.

I once was attacked by a pack of cigarettes. I’ve got the cigars to prove it.

When a guitarist messes up, he re-chords his mistake.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have grater problems.

The first time I used an elevator it was really uplifting, then it let me down.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

I am on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.

It’s not that the man did now know how to juggle, he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

I have a group of friends that go to restaurants to sample the food. They’re my taste buds.

I went to a zoo the other day. It only had one animal. It was a Shin Tzu.

I tried to take a picture of a field of wheat, but it was too grainy.